On Love (especially when we just don't want to)

I'm cheating a little today. I didn't find today's verse - it found me. I've been working on a Bible study for the past few months, and I'm just two days away from finishing it. I have to admit, I've honestly grown more since I started this study than I think I have at any other point in my life (thanks, Mom).

Some of you know that I've been having a really hard time dealing with a situation that has plagued me for the past year or so and has recently intensified. In the last week especially, I've run the gamut of emotions from sadness to disappointment to anger to hopelessness. It turns out that the heart of the issue (no pun intended) is this: I was not in a very loving mood. (For those of you who don't know what's been going on, don't worry, I'm sure you've had a similar experience at one point or another. Read on, my friends.)

The study I've been doing is about what it means to truly believe God, not just believe in Him. And this week, there were times when I was asking myself "What's the point? Just because I believe God doesn't mean life has gotten any better, and in fact, in some ways, it feels like it's gotten worse." And then I sat down to do today's part of the study and was smacked in the face (in a Godly, loving way of course) by the words of Galatians 5:6. "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." I was then directed to read the description of love that has been read, I think, at every Christian wedding since it was written. I Corinthians 13:4-8 "Love is patient, kind, content, humble, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs...it protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres."

I've heard people talk about being grieved by their sin, but I'm not sure I ever really knew what they meant. Until today. Today, I read those words and tears came to my eyes. The only thing I could say to God was "not even close". I haven't been anywhere in the hemisphere of that definition of love this week. I'm not even completely sure I've been on the same planet with it. Can you relate at all? I'm sure if you're honest with yourself, you'll admit, I'm not alone here.

But you know what? God came up with that definition of love because that's what His love is like. He is patient and kind with us. He is not easily angered when we sin. And the best part? He keeps no record of wrongs. Good thing, huh? But it's way easier to like that definition of love when it's directed at us than when we're in a situation where we are supposed to be directing it at someone who, quite frankly, doesn't deserve it. But now, we're faced with the ugly reality that we don't deserve it either. And that leads to this, rather obvious, question: who are we to decide who deserves love and who doesn't? God doesn't pick and choose who to love, and we have no right to either. In fact, the person who we feel deserves it the least, probably needs it the most right now.

So how do we get to the point where we can love people the way God loves us? The answer is found in the verse I chose as my life's verse when I was in Junior High: Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I can't love someone "unlovable" on my own. But if I submit my will to God's, and cling to Christ who loved me enough to die for me, I will be given the strength I need to do the right thing. On my own, I can do nothing. Through Christ, I can do anything, especially the very thing I feel is completely impossible. God does not ask us to do something unless He has given us the tools to get the job done. And for that, today, I praise Him!