On Obeying When It's Scary

I admit that I have been MIA for a few months, but so much of what God has been teaching me has felt like puzzle pieces and not anything concrete enough to share with other people (how's that for mixing metaphors?). I still feel that way, but there is one theme that has been coming back over and over again in the last few weeks that I feel very strongly is meant for someone else, as well as for me:

How often does God ask us to do something that we're pretty sure will hurt us? For example, let's look at the life of our friend Abraham for a moment, shall we? Now there's a guy who had his faith challenged many, many, many, many times, and often in very scary and painful ways. He was asked to leave everything he knew and move to the "land [God] will show" him - scary (Genesis 12:1). He was asked to believe that after a lifetime of not having a family, God would give him so many decedents that they could not be counted - emotionally painful(Genesis 15:5). He was asked to circumcise himself - I think this falls into both categories (Genesis 17:11). And most notably, he was asked to give back the son he had waited a century for - well, this one definitely fits the scary/painful bill (Genesis 22:2).

A little aside here: I was watching a comedian, Jim Gaffigan, last night and he was talking about the tests God gave some people in the Old Testament. "Don't eat that fruit. Build me a boat. Circumcise yourself. (To which Abraham responds, "Can't I just build two boats?")

Anyway, the point is this: As with so many other things, God always gives us what we need in order to do what he asks us to do. And at the most basic level, what He gives us is faith to obey. Whether we take hold of that faith and take that step of obedience is another matter, but that's our freedom to choose at work. Let me give you a very specific (and at the moment, a very personal) example. In the book of Malachi, (chapter 3, verses 8-10 to be exact) God is taking his people to task for not obeying his command to tithe. The people had been hoarding their possessions, which we do out of fear that we will not have what we need when we need it (a scary and painful prospect). God says to them, 'Look, you've been holding out on me. So here's what I'm going to propose: Cut it out, bring me what I've asked you to bring me, and then see that I really do have your best interests in mind and I really will make sure that you have what you need when you need it. Seriously, try me.'

Ok, so that's a bit of a paraphrase, but it gets to the heart of the matter. God is testing His people by asking them to test Him. (I love the irony of God's thought processes!) He's telling them that if they exercise their faith and obey His command to give to the poor and to the furthering of His work, He will undoubtedly make sure that their needs are met and even exceeded. Now let me be clear, I'm not trying to preach a "prosperity gospel" kind of thing. I'm simply saying that God does not lie and that if He promises to take care of us if we're faithful to obey, why would we not at least give it a try? What's the worst that could happen?

Over the past six months, I've seen my income shrink to an impossibly small amount. But every time I've been tempted to hold back on giving, I've heard a sermon, read a blog, or read something in the Bible that reminded me of the promise (and the challenge) in Malachi. So I once again throw my hands up to God and admit that everything I have is from Him anyway, and I give. And you know what? So far so good. Somehow, my bills get paid, I have food, and I still have a roof over my head and a car in the driveway. Sometimes it's because of someone's generosity, but quite a few times, I've had no idea how I've still had money left in my account at the end of the month. Well, I have an idea, but it's not anything earthly-logical. It's just that God is faithful and He is generously giving me faith to obey and then rewarding my obedience. Isn't that nice of Him?

Sure, I still hesitate before sending that donation. I still ask God how I'm going to pay the rent if I give what I have agreed with Him to give. But then I'm pointed to 2 Corinthians 9:6-8. And I'm left with no excuse not to obey, no matter how scary the future seems.