On Working and Playing Well With Others

I kind of miss the days of Kindergarten. Back then, we were graded on things like eye-hand coordination, our ability to sit and listen to a story, how high we could count, and how well we played with our classmates. Life was so simple then. Now we're graded on other things - how much money we make, how we look, how successful we are and how well we get along with others. Oh wait, that one hasn't gone away, has it? Figures it's the tough things we still have to do. Not too many people care if I use scissors correctly anymore, but everyone around me cares how well I relate to them.

Today's verses lay out the grading scale on that "playing well with others" thing: I Peter 3:8-12 tells us to live in harmony with those around us, to be sympathetic, compassionate, humble, to be a blessing to those around us instead of making their lives harder. Verse 11 says about the person who wants a long and happy life, "He must seek peace and pursue it". We aren't just to look for peace and hope it shows up. The Greek word for pursue, "dioko", means to run after, or to chase with the intent of catching someone or something. That's a pretty active verb right there. (On an interesting side note, that same word is also the word used for "persecute". Give that one some thought, huh?)

Now I don't know about you, but when I'm not getting along with someone as well as I should, I'm not at all interested in running after anything. More often than not, I'm intent on running away from that person and any contact I may have with him or her. Perhaps I feel guilty because I've done something to them that I shouldn't have. Perhaps I'm feeling put out about something he or she has done to me. Either way, my modus operandi is to just avoid the person and either wait out the storm, or stew for a while. But neither of those options qualifies as "living in harmony" (harmony is a synonym for peace, even in Greek).

Don't think for a moment though, that seeking out peace means that there will never be conflict, or that it means pretending everything's fine all of the time. True peace between individuals comes from a commitment and willingness to communicate honestly (Ephesians 4:15), and a humble, self-sacrificing attitude (Philippians 2:3). What better time to exhibit these qualities than when a conflict arises? Conflict is our opportunity to prove how much we've learned about being more Christ-like. Each experience with conflict, if we're really paying attention, could also teach us to see it coming and cut it off before it gets out of hand. Proactive peace is always better than reactive making up.

No, we may not always get our way. We may have to occasionally give up some comfort. But in the end, if we commit to being peace-pursuers, we may just find that the number of conflicts in which we find ourselves declines. And for that, our Teacher would give us an A. (It really is too bad that no one is grading us on how well we nap anymore, right?)